Almost certainly containing nuts...

What price shame?

2009-09-22T09:20:00.008+01:00

To the collection of fools, fraudsters and fanatics that is the the current Labour government, ethics is a place north of the M25.

Whatever the wrongdoing or scandal, nobody has ever done anything wrong and it is 'not appropriate' for the culprit to step down, however serious their involvement. The general rule seems to be 'keep your head down and some worse news will overtake it.' Gone are the days when honour, responsibility or morality interfered with the conduct of a government post.

The latest of these is the appointment by Baroness Scotland, no less than the Attorney General, of an illegal immigrant as a cleaner. If we leave aside the obvious security issues - the lack of - Lady Scotland presided over the introduction of strict laws that are applied in a similar manner to businesses throughout the UK.

We hear from the venerable Gordon that she apologises for any 'inadvertant mistake.' I now confidently expect a good number of ethnic restaurants to try that line with officialdom when they are caught out. However, sauce for the 2009 goose is most assuredly not sauce for the gander. They will pay for their crime.

Lady Scotland was given the clues: the cleaner came from Tonga and her name was Loloahi Tapui. Did political correctness prevent her from asking to see her passport? There is no crime in being born overseas or have a non-traditional british name. However, as a starting point, these are pretty good.

The circumstances of this were such that an immediate resignation was the only decent and ethical course. When we see ministers and officials behaving in such a self-serving fashion, can we be surprised that society progressively adopts a similar stance?

Sir Tel hangs up his Togs

2009-09-09T11:11:00.007+01:00

At last Sir Terry Wogan has decided to take things a bit easier and announced his departure from the end of the year.

Well deserved and expected but, nonetheless, a shock for the legion of TOGS (Terry's Old Geezers/Gals) who, for decades, have woken up to that gentle brand of humour that is his own. Terry Wogan is truly unique in broadcasting terms - educated, well read, witty, musical, self-deprecating and most of all, generous in every sense of the word. His ability to see the best in people comes across regularly. When some of us would be showing our curmudgeonly side, Terry sportingly makes allowances. It's an attractive trait and in no small part responsible for everyone feeling that he is on their side, that they can rely on him, that they know him. I have only met him once briefly, at a book signing, but the warmth that he showed to all his followers only reinforced the impression.

He has earned a little more time with his family, a little more time to lie in and, in all likelihood, a little more golf.

Mornings just won't be the same.

To Let - Terrorist Training Camp

2009-09-04T11:22:00.009+01:00

Sometimes I wonder if the world wouldn't be a better place without the hordes of highly-qualified and acclaimed 'experts.' Too much education can be a very bad thing; it rots your brain and clutters up the pathways for simple, clear thinking. Not only that, when one expert exhorts one argument, another will inevitably urge the opposite.

On average, of course, they might be about right but they tend to lack the Sybil Fawlty factor - they miss the 'bleeding obvious.'

Gordon Brown is about to come out of summer hiding to 'reassure' the voting public as to why we are in Afghanistan. There is now great discontent amongst voters about the real value in losing so many young lives when weighed against the increase in security for the UK.

It is not our affair to be concerned about human rights there, it is not even our affair to be concerned about democracy - there are many other countries where we ought to be if that were our brief. No, we are told that the fundamental reason for our presence is the containment of the Taliban since they facilitated the encouragement and training of Al Quaeda operatives in training camps on Afghan soil.

Well, it must be me but I reckon they could get around this by doing it somewhere else. Of course, maybe they haven't thought of that and we're safe.

Let's NOT get cosy - Part Deux

2009-09-01T13:27:00.006+01:00

The problems of over-familiar computer-generated mails has jolted my memory about one of the worst abuses that I can think of.

I'm talking about the terrible practice adopted by nurses and carers towards older people - that of calling them by their first name without being invited to do so.

At some point the NHS management, Social Services, universities and similar trainers in the private sector adopted as one the policy of telling people that this is what they should do to make people in their care feel comfortable - a friendly service and what could be friendlier than addressing someone by their given name?

Except it isn't. It's bloody annoying, patronising and to somebody over 50yrs, uncomfortable and impolite.

The default pattern to be taught should always be to use Mr or Mrs until invited to do otherwise or to ask 'what do you like to be called?' And if Mrs is not Mrs, she will be quite happy that at least she was addressed properly and offer an alternative!

Let's NOT get cosy

2009-08-26T12:11:00.010+01:00

It's been a while since my last blog and I have to take full blame for being a lazy so-and-so. Sometimes I feel like blogging, sometimes a twittering, sometimes - well you get the picture.

I'm compelled to mention that I have just successfully re-arranged the house insurance via the site that sports an annoying, singing, moustachioed irritant and saved over £110. Not much wrong there and, after checking all the details, I must say that I am very happy with the whole thing (and not a bloody meerkat in sight).

My delight has been slightly dented, however, by the prompt email that followed. This opened with 'Dear Tony.'

If you want to really upset me, try calling me by my first name without any invitation to do so. At 59 years old, I was brought up in a world where everybody was treated with respect and addressed properly until invited to be familiar. A younger person would always be expected to use formality and, in the rest of Europe, this is still very much the rule.

Now, I know that it's just a computer algorithm that is assembling the information and pinging off the mail to me but that's beside the point. It took somebody to make the decision that these communications, most of which want to sell me something, should be familiar in tone.

I'll bet anything you like that he/she was no more than half my age and very used to a world which has now thrown away most of the rules. Nothing wrong with that at all unless you want to sell into the large market of baby-boomers and retirees - large and growing.

And that is my main point. What kind of business decision says 'let me potentially alienate a third of my market in just two words?' Only a dumb one.

All the information is present to Go Compare my DOB, title and surname and to politely address me as 'Dear Mr Balmforth.'

I have no intention of being intimate with a computer.

Not Enough Regulation?

2009-07-27T17:02:00.014+01:00

Have I gone crazy? Well, yes maybe a bit, but not when it comes to avoiding getting ripped off by people who call themselves tradesmen.

As I get older I seem to get more left-wing. Only until the next election, you understand - and just enough to be sensible about what needs to be touched by the hand of government and what needs to be left well alone.

Successive governments have introduced a swathe of legislation to control matters in the financial world and in so doing have shown how inept and inadequate they were when it came to stopping everything going off course.

Yet for the ordinary person these matters can be largely arcane. What really matters is not getting taken to the cleaners when the boiler needs servicing or when a straightforward plumbing job needs attending to.

Anyone can set up in business and describe themselves as a plumber or a builder or a tree surgeon or any number of other 'trades.' Actually, they don't even have to set up, they can merely call themselves whatever they wish without any check on their capabilities. If you are unfortunate enough to need to call in a 'tradesman,' you can expect to feel more than a little uncertain as to the outcome of the job. You may well be made to feel lucky that they can fit you in at all, lucky that you contacted them (the others are all conmen), lucky that they can do it so cheaply at around twice what you were expecting - in fact, lucky! Despite your luck, you still cannot be reasonably sure that any newly contacted tradesman is actually able to do the job properly.

I have never thought this to be satisfactory and in many other countries it isn't allowed. In TonyWorld anyone wanting to set up as a tradesman would have to register with the local authority, prove their qualification, produce public liability insurance and register with HMRC before being issued with a licence to trade. It is this annual licence that would do most to ensure professionalism and particularly so if it carried a simple grading of the services that the owner was permitted to carry out.

In TonyWorld those services would also be regulated within pricing bands but that could bring about the complete destruction of the free market, they tell me.

Pedestrian Crossing Rage

2009-06-26T12:06:00.011+01:00

After a bit of a holiday from blogging and making the most of the lovely June weather, here I am back at the keyboard with a list of niggles to share. Thank you, I hear you all cry.

My immediate gripe, having just returned from a short walk to the local Post Office (oh God, there's more material), is that I had to cross the road using one of the new-fangled Puffin crossings. This is just like a Pelican crossing but with the commonsense removed.

Instead of being able to clearly see a red or green man on the opposite side, now it has been improved by removing it. Yes, there is a green man above the waist-high push-button but, of course, nobody seems to have realised that there will be people standing in front of it and it will be invisible to most.

The authorities say that this method forces people to look at the traffic. Mmm. On that logic, it is one small step to removing the crossing altogether.

So often these decisions are taken by some minor official, impressed by the sales spiel of the commercial outfit selling the system. This is then projected to the minions under his control who dare not point out the obvious to him before finally being rubberstamped as an order. Once the equipment is installed, of course, the user complaints follow and these are brushed aside with any justification that can be dreamt up to protect the idiocy of the originator. Such people tend to be ovine by nature and soon every authority in the country follows.

Before you know it, proving that the earth is flat is easier than getting anyone to admit that a mistake was made.

'Oh no,' they cry. 'You haven't understood what we are trying to do.'

Yes I have.

Endemic dishonesty

2009-06-05T10:18:00.009+01:00

Matters have been moving apace in this week of elections with ministers tumbling from their positions and the demise of Gordon Brown surely imminent.

Despite this MPs from both leading parties continue to trot out the same old party soundbites, conscious that they either need to be protecting their political backsides from the whips or choosing their re-aligned companions. Whatever the scale of a problem, however much they are in the wrong, spin comes first and truth takes a back seat.

For me, this tedious, endemic dishonesty is far worse than many of the 'fiddles' that have been used to make up their salaries, bad though those are.

How refreshing it is to see American politicians interviewed by Paxman et al. It is remarkable how straightforward many of them are, often (and I know you'll find this difficult to believe) attempting to answer the question!

It is often bandied about by the major parties that there is strength in the 'first past the post' system. Even if that is true, it is at the expense of honesty from our representatives and serves to embed hypocrisy and self-preservation.

Indeed, as being an MP has become a lucrative opening into the world of Croesus, how can we expect anything to be otherwise?

Sharpen the Knives

2009-06-01T06:01:00.007+01:00

It's been a quiet week for blogging, what with more disclosures coming every day from The telegraph about errant MPs. We are all now in danger of serious information overload and it is having the unwanted effect of taking away the focus from any kind of action that will be sufficient to stem the public anger.

Incredibly, Alistair Darling is still in place, completely untouched and unbowed by the fact that he several times 'flipped' houses thereby profiting greatly by defrauding the taxpayer. Actions that were described by Gordon Brown as 'totally unacceptable' in the case of Hazel Blears have been endorsed as fully within the rules in his case and - worryingly for him - he has the PM's full support. Invariably such support comes with a knife attached.

Watching Brown on the Andrew Marr Show yesterday you could be forgiven for thinking that it is all a storm in a teacup, that he had known about and wanted this all reformed and cleaned up two years ago. Indeed, it was all his idea to do so and we are now to reap the benefit of his wisdom. It was almost another sickening YouTube moment.

Yet again he is missing the point by telling us that the public want constitutional reform and an 'independent' review of MP's expenses (in truth there is no possibility of this really happening).

No, what the public wants is a public hanging, somebody to pay the price, somebody's collar felt, somebody to be contrite, somebody to say sorry and mean it, somebody to own up!

Good MP, Bad MP

2009-05-25T11:05:00.008+01:00

I never thought I would say it but, after all the fuss and revelations of MP expenses, I am now starting to worry that collateral damage is occurring on a rather large scale.

One of the latest is Dr Ian Gibson, MP for Norwich North. Whilst he has undoubtedly been very unwise in letting his daughter live in his London second home, his transgression has not been anything like as bad as the out and out fraud that has been perpetrated by some members of the Cabinet no less.

A Labour MP for many years, Dr Gibson has served the city well and his retirement would be a loss. Similarly, Norman Lamb for North Norfolk.

Mr Lamb, the Lib Dem Health spokesman has worked tirelessly on a great many issues with a diligence that we might expect from our MPs but rarely see. The pressure on him and other MPs in the past two weeks has been unremitting and he openly states that he has considered throwing in the towel. I doubt that he will but he is not a man to say that lightly.

The biggest issue now is - where is this all going? It isn't just going to go away this time like Gordon Brown might like to think.

If we are to save some of our better and more capable representatives from media annihilation, this rotten government must stand down quickly and the public MUST be given their chance.

Time is not on our side in the battle to keep Britain from becoming an even bigger basket case.

Pringle wars

2009-05-21T10:51:00.006+01:00

We have had the Jaffa cake biscuit versus cake dispute (HMRC wanted it to be biscuit but lost out on VAT when it was designated cake).

Now we have an Appeal Court ruling that Pringles are not a crisp but a potato snack and are therefore liable to VAT. Win some, lose some.

Apart from the shock revelation that they are only 42% potato, can this really be a good use of everybody's time and money? The only real winners, as usual, are the armies of lawyers for all sides.

Is it really beyond the wit of the Chancellor of the Exchequer to simplify this situation or are there too many vested interests?

Er, don't answer that.

Michael Martin's £1.4M

2009-05-19T23:28:00.007+01:00

Speaker, Michael Martin, steps down on the 21st June and, in what appears to be an agreement reached following a battle with the government, will keep his £1.4M pension pot. This represents and additional £836,000 over and above his MP pension pot of £572,000.

During his tenure he has been subject to much criticism over his judgement of expenses and now is 'resigning' after being pushed from office in an unprecedented move by a group of backbenchers reflecting popular opinion. After attempting to obfuscate and prevent publication of damning evidence of MP abuses he has become a symbol of all that is presently wrong with the system.

Gordon Brown insisted recently that 'there must not be any reward for failure.'

His is an interesting definition of success.

13 yr old Not Father

2009-05-19T17:31:00.006+01:00

So, the 13 yr old Alfie Patten is not the father of 15 yr old Chantelle Stedman's baby after all.

All the tabloid reporting, after careful handling by spin-meister Max Clifford, will no doubt have been a nice little earner for all concerned. Lots of holiday cash this year and probably for some time to come.

Since 4, and some say 6, boys came forward to claim that the baby was theirs, just what does this say about Chantelle and, to a greater extent, her completely inadequate parents.

It could only happen in Britain where the fabric of our society is so damaged that few people seem to see much wrong with the family situation, the scurrilous reporting, the money-making or the law-breaking.

The End of the Honourable Member

2009-05-16T10:28:00.011+01:00

...with hardly a pun in sight!

The laying bare of MPs' expense habits has brought about an historic undermining of the esteem in which they have been held by voters. Until now MPs have wallowed in a comfy reverence, in part brought about by the mystique of their jobs and also by the language and pomp of their place of work.

But no longer. The voters now see little honour in the Honourable Member. How, in Heaven's name, can this term survive without doing yet further damage by the comedic drip effect each time it is used? A complete review of parliamentary conduct and behaviour will be needed to salvage some respect from the electorate.

Not all MPs are fraudulent, incompetent or dishonest but all are having to pay with their reputations.

Time was that popularity polls placed estate agents just above traffic wardens and rapists; now it seems that MPs are placed even lower.

£18,000 for Bookcases

2009-05-16T08:53:00.003+01:00

If we ever needed proof of the complete and utter contempt that some MPs hold for the taxpayer and, by extension, those who elect them we need look no further than one of the latest expense revelations - that of Tam Dalyell.

A Labour MP, mind you, Dalyell lives in a small castle on a 200 acre estate in Scotland, in which he nominated a room as his constituency office. To house his collection of books he attempted to claim no less than £18,000 for bookshelves just two months before retiring. The Fees Office rejected this as you might rightly expect but then agreed to pay £7,800 for some high quality versions from John Lewis. Exactly why they thought this to be good taxpayer value is beyond explanation or excuse.

For some years Dalyell was Father of the House and, if anyone should have been seen to be upholding the Green Book rules, it should have been him.

Perhaps his is not the worst of the cases to come to light, many of which are outright fraud, but it gives a good indication of the moral compass within which some MPs operate.

Half-Cock Housing Regulation

2009-05-15T09:25:00.018+01:00

The government has decided that it is a Good Thing to impose greater strictures on the rented housing sector by requiring private landlords to register annually and, of course, raise a few bucks by charging an annual fee.

This follows a review at their request by Dr Julie Rugg of the University of York who has made a number of recommendations to impose further requirements on landlords but, interestingly enough, none on tenants.

Now, I don't know if Dr Rugg has ever been involved in letting a property but there are most definitely two in the marriage. Certainly there are bad and neglectful landlords but there are also some appalling instances of tenants who have been known to all but destroy the properties let to them in good faith.

And there is the rub. The law already protects tenants to a very high degree but offers virtually no financial redress to the landlord whatsoever apart from the prospect of being able to retain the deposit after a tussle with the holder. This is quite possibly inadequate for the repairs and, of course, by that stage the tenants have long gone and are probably without funds to recover any further sums anyway.

Like so much in life in Great Britain, personal responsibility seems rare and there are far too many cases where tenants see the whole exercise as 'fair game.' You cannot imagine this happening in the US where they take the business of indebtedness more seriously with the ultimate penalty of jail for anyone refusing to meet their obligations.

I have spent almost all my working life in the property business and have seen the argument from both sides. Bad landlords make good headlines, bad tenants we are supposed to suffer. Yet that is a fundamental imbalance that can only give rise to a future reaction somewhere in the letting market.

Dr Rugg has got herself a good gig, probably as a result of writing such gritty insights as 'Conceptualising the contemporary role of housing in the transition to adult life in England' and 'Housing advantage? The role of student renting in the constituion of housing biographies in the United Kingdom.'

I'm afraid I instinctively distrust academic approaches to the subject, particularly when they are wrapped up in jargon. The government, however, loves jargon. It understands it, it breeds it, and ultimately spends unimaginable fortunes of taxpayers' money on programmes that can be 'muddied' by it.

The sharp end of the rental business needs addressing from a fairness viewpoint with enforcement and penalties applying to both sides.

We have had the next to useless HIPS fiasco; please try and get this one right Mrs Beckett.

Premium rate con-tricks

2009-05-11T20:03:00.014+01:00

Watching BBC Watchdog tonight, and seeing a piece of scum by the name of Shaun Freeman (sue me if you're stupid enough), it reminds me how angry I am at the never-ending con-tricks performed under guise of 'information' lines or 'competition wins.'

My 89 year old mum regularly receives promotion cards inviting her to scratch off the panels on the front to see if she has won a prize. Of course, she always has and is consequently invited to phone a premium rate line to claim her prize.

The print announcing the cost of this is in so small a typeface as to be virtually illegible and the average cost of doing so is, I estimate, never likely to be less than £7-8. Often it is very much more.

Old people come from a trusting generation that upheld decency and respect. As a result many of them can be tempted to follow the instructions with expensive consequences. I know because it has happened.

To my mind this is a classic case of obtaining money by deception dressed up to appear to stay within the law. Yet how can it possibly be lawful to deceive people into calling costly telephone numbers or to make them rack up the bill by obliging them to stay on the line for no purpose?

The body that is supposed to oversee this scam - PhonepayPlus - is seemingly pretty toothless. Nice warm name, pretty website but not much going on when it comes to it.

Its Chief Executive Director Paul Whiteing said that 'the issue was complicated and that they do make sure that lines like these comply with their code of practice.'

That, frankly, is like saying that the Yorkshire Ripper obeyed the speed limit between victims.

These lines should be much more carefully controlled. At the very least, a simple law should be passed that, for all cases where the cost of a call is more than local rate, any promotion literature or advertisement of any kind should show the cost next to the number in a type-size

NO SMALLER OR LESS BOLD THAN THE LARGEST TEXT ON THE LEAFLET.

Not to do so should be a criminal offence. There, easy wasn't it?

Scrappage Crappage

2009-05-10T23:50:00.004+01:00

In a recent survey of 600 people by Parker's Car Price Guide 81% said that they would not be taking advantage of the new car scrappage scheme.

It seems that better deals are already available out there in the market, the scheme is not generous enough and dealers are already accounting for their expected £1,000 contribution in prices on offer.

That didn't last long, did it?

Another Police mistake?

2009-05-09T20:17:00.009+01:00

In all the fuss about MPs' expenses the news of a 64 year old man in Fernhurst, Sussex getting shot dead by police after a 3 hr siege was nearly overlooked.

It appears that the man was distraught at the fate of his seriously ill wife having to go into care and reports were made to police that he had a hostage in his bungalow and was 'brandishing' a gun. He was, in fact, a licensed gun owner and a local rifle club member.

In the event it turns out that there was no hostage and his wife was found in a nearby hospital. There has been no statement at this time that the man was threatening the police or, indeed, anybody - merely that he was not responding when asked to give up his gun. Despite this a police marksman was authorised to shoot him and did so with fatal result.

Now I don't know all the details of the case and, it should be said, the IPCC has begun an 'independent' enquiry into the incident.

At first sight, though, it does give the appearance of the police having 'shot him for his own safety.'

Moron MPs' expenses

2009-05-09T19:26:00.006+01:00

Sorry, that should be 'More on MPs' expenses!' Or should it?

The revelations continue to come out and, in many ways, the worst aspect is that the affected members (ooh, er missus) strenuously assert their innocence. Sometimes you just have to know when to stop digging.

In fact they have all transgressed, since parliamentary rules stipulate that MPs must ensure that there are "no grounds for a suggestion of a misuse of public money."

MPs have also attempted to put themselves in the clear by saying that the Fees Office has vetted their claims and it is for them to reject any unsatisfactory ones. Whilst the most ridiculous ones undoubtedly are thrown out, the Fees Office is in no position to check the validity of any claims and relies upon the honour of the honourable member - honour which is conspicuously absent.

Perhaps the most moronic choice by the government is to allow themselves to be subjected to 'death by a thousand cuts' as the Torygraph drip-feeds the damage on a daily basis.

Surely it is better to die once than many times and to get the whole thing out into the open straight away.

MPs' expenses

2009-05-08T11:06:00.004+01:00

The Torygraph scoops everybody else and gets out its chequebook to make sure we get the unexpurgated truth, apparently without fear or favour.

'It's all within the rules,' cry the wounded MPs from Gordon Brown downwards.

They just don't get it, do they?

It isn't that they might be breaking the rules, it's that they made the rules in the first place, the rules are a shabby and contrived fraud on the taxpayer and they made every effort to conceal the truth by trying to reject the Freedom of Information request.

For a vision of hypocrisy, just look at max-mortgage-Mandy trying to blame irresponsible reporting.

Blog Title definitions

2009-05-07T12:39:00.006+01:00

Organic
- seriously overpriced

Fairtrade
- satisfyingly overpriced

Gluten-Free
- any gluten is free

Diverse
- involves people you're not at all sure about

Inclusive
- involves people you're not at all sure about being not sure about you

OMG, WTF r they doin 2 my language?

2009-05-07T08:27:00.022+01:00

OK (OMG, there's another abbreviation). I know that we have to come up with ingenious ways of compacting the language in Twitterworld and textspeak. Life in 140 characters was never going to be easy without editing out the unnecessary bits.

No - that's not really my problem. Having grown up enthused by the richness of the english language it is galling to see it corrupted and abused in a way that will inevitably be sanctioned as 'evolving.'

Take, for instance, for instance. Or these days: 'let me give you a fr'instance.' Or worse, skill and task, which used to be nouns and have now transmogrified into the ugliest of verbs. These days we skill our people and task them. What's wrong with training them and giving them responsibility for something?

Or Human Resources for Personnel. Can there ever have been a more contemptible description of employees? It reduces them to a commodity to be exploited at the will of the company, completely de-personalised and easy to shed when the time comes.

And, by the way, it's not 'Haitch R' it's 'aitch R.' Where did this ghastly habit of pronouncing the letter H like the sound come from. Maybe when we were kids we said it like that, but now we've grown up, haven't we?

Even the BBC, those guardians of all things correct in the mother tongue, has taken to disregarding errors that would formerly have brought about the red pencil treatment. Every news broadcast brings forth a litany of plural/singular mismatches (the government have, one of the things they said are...) and spelling mistakes in the subtitles.

It is as if they are trying to celebrate and embrace diversity by using people who can't do it as well as people who can do it, as if this helps raise the inclusiveness bar in some fashion.

These are horrible, disingenuous words and phrases used only by people whose poverty of thinking is generally paid for by the taxpayer. You will never find anybody in the self-employed world with the time or energy to talk this kind of bollockspeak.

I'm afraid I have abandoned all hope of preserving the language for evermore but I'll go on defending it in my own way until I draw my last.

I refuse to be, like, 'whatever.'

Swine Flu Raging

2009-05-06T18:48:00.004+01:00

4 new cases of swine flu are reported to be raging across England bringing the total to 32.

Now I know it is common sense to prepare for a pandemic of very large proportions, maybe even as large 1918, but this seems to be getting a bit silly. Is it just possible that the whole thing is going the way of bird flu and the millenium bug?

The numbers involved seem even less than our seasonal norms and thankfully nobody has yet succumbed to it.

No, the problem is more to do with the insatiable beast that is 24 hour news gathering, instant global communications and profit-obsessed newspaper reporting.

Tories to welcome Miliband?

2009-05-06T08:36:00.010+01:00

Yesterday I was confused as to why David Miliband has put out a tender for a 2 year private plane contract when he has probably only one year to serve.

Today I have worked it out. A deal to join the Tories is almost certainly the answer. That way he may get to keep the toy for an extra year!

I'm sure I'm right.

A Miliband Mugging

2009-05-05T09:57:00.010+01:00

Not content with leaving the rest of government to rummage their snouts in the taxpayer trough bright young thing David Miliband, the Foreign Secretary, has decided to upstage them all with the trappings of a billionaire executive.

Knowing, presumably, that his days are numbered he has decided that his status requires a private jet aeroplane at his permanent disposal so that he can fly where he wants, when he wants. He has chosen to ignore the fact that he can fly almost anywhere first class on scheduled airlines at a fraction of the cost.

What is strange, though, is that he has unnecessarily put the contract out to tender for 2 years. Since it is now almost certain that he will have only 1 year to serve, this is another wasteful addition to pass on to the next government whose job it will be to clear up the mess.

Left hand, right hand?

2009-05-04T16:28:00.005+01:00

Here's a funny thing.

Look around in any room where there are several lots of young people under 30 eating and it's a fair bet that many, if not most, will be doing so with a knife in their left hand and the fork held in their right.

It looks very uncomfortable and, indeed, it often looks a bit of a struggle. The american habit is of starting the 'english' way - fork in left, knife in right - and then swapping over the fork to the right hand to 'spoon' the food, putting down the knife.

But this is different. It is not the american way and not the english. It seems to be the result of the fast food society that we live in and the fact that, in many cases, the accepted way of holding the cutlery has either never been taught or has been ignored.

Swine Flu Panic outbreak

2009-05-04T09:34:00.005+01:00

Following the downgrading of the Swine Flu epidemic in Mexico to seasonal norms, a deadly outbreak of Swine Flu Panic has spread itself quickly across the globe attacking many in its path.

This highly infectious strain invades otherwise quite rational people causing many to refuse bacon sandwiches and in extremis, to take on the appearance of Michael Jackson (on a normal day).

A true pandemic, the real thing.

Report by Ian Fluenza.

Taxing the Internet

2009-05-03T19:32:00.004+01:00

The government has now come up with the absolutely barking idea (sorry - spiffing wheeze) of taxing advertising on the internet giants like Google and MySpace. £3.4 billion for the BBC is apparently not enough.

I print below the contents of one noticeboard comment verbatim.

'Stuff the BBC and Channel4, Sut them down waist of money, who the hell is this goverment think they are? they hve already recked the country, finance, jobs, now they want to bring the internet down.
morons. get rid of te bbc and put licenec money back into people pockets, wh are we paying for such crap any way.'

They have also wrecked education although I couldn't have put it better myself.

Tesco refuses paramedic

2009-05-03T17:11:00.006+01:00

Today's report of a Tesco checkout person refusing to permit a paramedic in uniform to purchase a bottle of wine is rather curious. By all accounts the paramedic returned to his vehicle, disrobed to his thong and socks and went back into the shop for a second attempt. This reportedly 'embarrassed and stunned' staff and shoppers and the manager and police were called.

Leaving aside the wisdom of wasting police time and our council taxpayers' cash, what the hell are Tesco thinking of? If they're going to ban anyone buying wine, try the underage or the over-indulgent or even anyone who even looks like they might cause a spat. Paramedics are responsible people and, frankly, I'd put them ahead of Tesco's staff on points.

They might be Britain's biggest (not necessarily favourite) supermarket but it doesn't prevent them looking like fools.

Prescott to campaign

2009-05-02T17:57:00.006+01:00

Amidst all the self-flagellation by Labour party members following a truly awful week, champagne socialist John Prescott is taking to his battle bus this weekend to start campaigning.

That should seal the fate of the party for sure.

Valuing Diversity in Mathematics

2009-05-02T09:53:00.005+01:00

If you want to know what's wrong with our education system, you could do worse than take a peek at this instructional nonsense from the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority at http://www.qca.org.uk/qca_9580.aspx.

It's honestly enough to make you weep. And it's our kids who have to put up with this rubbish while not being able to do basic mental arithmetic. Come to think of it, some of the teachers I've met can't either.

Haringey and Baby P

2009-05-02T08:42:00.004+01:00

So now we find out there is yet another child, little more than a baby, abused and neglected by the boyfriend of Baby P's mother.

It sticks in the craw that these low-life, together with the "lodger," are granted the advantage of anonymity by the court. Whilst it is understandable that the interests of the child are paramount it appears that this has actually been done with the interests of the killers and rapist at the forefront. I have always believed that it is a fundamental tenet of english law that trials take place in public view unless there are compelling reasons for not doing so. No sentence has yet been passed by the court but it is unlikely to make us feel that justice has been well served.

Is there any one of us that would not cheerfully pull the lever on the gallows given the chance?

Housing Market

2009-04-30T09:31:00.002+01:00

House sales increased 40% in March (HM Revenue & Customs); prices fell by 0.4% (Nationwide). The property slump is over/continues unabated (delete as appropriate).

One for the Gurkhas

2009-04-29T16:21:00.003+01:00

Actually 267 for the Gurkhas, 246 for the government! A fantastic result, the right one and no doubt reinforced by the huge and almost unprecedented outrage felt by the public.

Phil Woolas for the government tried hard to justify their position but singularly failed in what seemed to be equivalent to pushing water uphill.

Now we may expect to see them do something about it.

Flu Pandemic

2009-04-29T10:59:00.006+01:00

So the government is going to send out leaflets to every household about the threat that we all face from flu.

This will probably go along the lines of 'cover your mouth when you sneeze, stay away from work and at risk groups if you show symptoms,' and so on. Just how brain-dead do they think we are; isn't this possibly a slight overreaction? I might be wrong, but I doubt it.

Anyway, Gordon Brown says we're one of the best prepared countries in the world to tackle the flu pandemic. That should be our signal for mass panic, shouldn't it?

MP's Expenses

2009-04-29T00:05:00.002+01:00

PM Gordon Brown keeps maintaining that the business of sorting out MP's expenses is complicated. And so it may be but that doesn't mean that it should be complicated.

Why not take the opportunity to simplify the whole process and just pay an allowance of £100 pa for each mile Westminster is distant from the member's constituency. That's it; everything else is their problem.

(I have just noticed that PM is a backward MP).

The Whistleblower Nurse

2009-04-28T17:20:00.003+01:00

I am so glad to see that, following last night's Panorama about the shabby striking off of Margaret Haywood, public outrage has resulted in a lot of pressure to have this decision revisited.

I also want to put on record my thanks to Paul Daniels for re-tweeting my link to the Royal College of Nursing petition at http://www.gopetition.com/online/27030.html. This has helped raise the total, I'm sure. Slightly disappointed at Stephen Fry and Tony Blackburn not doing so, despite a polite request, but let's be generous and assume that they haven't yet had the chance to go through all their @replies.

The striking off was vindictive, nasty, unnecessary and quite contrary to everything that a reasonable person would say was appropriate.

Grammar schools

2009-04-25T11:30:00.010+01:00

Whatever your feelings about equality of opportunity in education, it is undeniable that the old grammar schools produced some remarkable figures who went on to reach the very top of their fields.

One such was Edmund Lawson QC who I was sad to see died recently at just 60 years old after suffering two strokes earlier in the year. A year older than me, I well remember him at the City of Norwich School which we both attended. He was getting noticed even then and went on to become a hugely respected barrister and QC acting in a wide number of nationally important cases e.g. The Stephen Lawrence Inquiry, The Guildford Four, The Birmingham Six, Bloody Sunday Inquiry and so many more. He will undoubtedly be missed.

My own form at school (31 pupils and unacceptably large today, apparently) went on to produce, amongst others, a BAFTA award-winning producer and a billionaire insurance man. What a testament to the start in life that the grammar schools gave to ordinary children and how sad that, for most parts of the country, that quality of education has to be purchased.

Labour started the decline but the Tories share the blame for being spineless thereafter.

Blog title

2009-04-24T11:48:00.002+01:00

Thought I had better change the blog title slightly as Mr O'Farrell got there first and I defer to my betters.

The Gurkhas

2009-04-24T10:09:00.009+01:00

If ever you needed confirmation of the scurrilous, self-serving nature of the present government you need look no further than their treatment of the Gurkhas who served this country before 1997 (a significant date?) and who sought the right of settlement in the UK, even if they did not wish to exercise it.

Last September the High Court found that the government's rules were unlawful and that the Crown owed a "moral debt of honour" to the Gurkhas. But we all know about the morals of the government and, describing the new rules on applications, Immigration Minister Phil Woolas said on TV "We will be more generous where there has been valour, long service and where there are medical conditions as well."

So now bravery has become a consideration in the right to stay? This is all petty, political and nasty beyond contempt.

They are happy to harbour alleged genocidal maniacs because they may not receive a fair trial and any number of economic migrants claiming asylum with no papers - how about doing the decent thing just for once?

27th February 2032

2009-04-23T22:23:00.003+01:00

That's the date that the IFS say government borrowings will be back under control at sustainable levels.

I'll probably be sleeping on a cloud by then but, just in case I'm not, should we book a table at the Fat Duck?

When is £2,000 not £2,000?

2009-04-23T13:34:00.004+01:00

When the government promises to pay it for trading in your old banger for a new one.

Leaving aside the fact that they are only going to contribute £1,000 and 'expect' the industry to supply the rest, who can't get £2,000 discount off a new car anyway at the present time? You can be certain that the bit the industry is 'expected' to give will NOT be in addition to the discount that you could otherwise extract. On this basis £1,000 is about the best that anyone will in reality obtain.

Anyway, is scrappage a new word? Seems to me they're talking a load of crappage.

It's global, got it?

2009-04-22T19:52:00.009+01:00

So, that's it then. The long-awaited Budget. The truth is out and it's worse than they could believe, despite having been forecast for days. Except that you're left with the feeling that, even whilst the Chancellor is telling the grim details, he is crossing his fingers because the reality of the next few years' borrowings is likely to be understated by a very large margin. It is all based on a highly unlikely proposition - namely that growth is going to return quickly to greater than pre-recession levels and with it the tax take.

No. It's easy to tell when he's lying 'cos his lips move. And the fact that the Front Bench members sit there amused through the whole thing should tell us quite a lot about their approach to being caught out telling porkies and their contempt for the ordinary taxpayer.

Where have 'proper' houses gone?

2009-04-21T13:59:00.011+01:00

When I bought my first property in 1971 it was a modest 2 bedroomed semi-detached bungalow on a decent sized plot and it cost me around three times the average income at the time. For just 3.5 times average income my pal bought a detached 3 bedroomed chalet-bungalow on a large plot (yes, I know he got a better deal).

My point is that back then it was possible to have a comfortable property with a useful sized garden without needing an income the size of Fred the Shred. This possibility exists no longer and the blame must be laid firmly at the door of the planning departments who have demanded denser and denser development until now we have horribly similar-looking brand new slums all over the country.

Time was when land was reasonably priced and you could build a pair of semis with large gardens or even one property, perhaps with just 3 bedrooms, and lots of space around it. Developments of 6 properties to the acre were common. We're now looking at well over 30 in many cases. Individual or small parcels of plots have almost exclusively been built with large 'executive' homes way beyond the scope of most buyers, let alone first-timers.

And it's not just the outsides that have suffered. New properties by the big developers have Lilliputian sized rooms - lounges 10' wide, bathrooms 6' x 6' and so on. It's as though somebody stole a couple of feet off every room in all directions which, of course, is exactly what happened. If you steal enough space in every road, you can bang in another slum property.

You may feel I am unkind calling them slums, after all, they are very smart-looking albeit tightly-packed homes. Just see what they look like in 40 years time. I promise you, that generation will be talking about pulling them down (where they haven't already fallen down).

Planning departments are so concerned with ridiculous 'eco' building regs and the political requirements of their Whitehall masters that a broad, sensible look at planning for better housing has been impossible.

To improve the type of homes that we live in we have to take a step back towards the family properties that were commonplace in the post-war period. That means larger plots and more comfortable dimensions. If planners were impose a minimum plot size but permit properties to be built in a much wider range of locations with lower density, we could soon find a good supply of plots at manageably low prices.

It really could work but I'm not holding my breath.

Council Houses - one way forward

2009-04-21T10:45:00.005+01:00

Pride comes before a fall, whether it be a Tory or Labour fall. Both have a shameful history when it comes to the housing market.

If we are to 'invest' billions to crawl out of this recession, shouldn't it be to start all over again and build council houses in large numbers to tackle the backlog of people waiting for homes? That way the construction industry gets a major boost, people are housed, taxes get paid, spending goes up. Win, win, win!

Norwich Union name change

2009-04-20T10:32:00.007+01:00

In a recent survey it was reported that 96% of respondents were aware of the Norwich Union name and that near to 0% were aware of AVIVA, the parent company hell-bent on change with the assistance of Bruce Willis, Ringo Starr et al.

That's a long way to go if you're going to make it worthwhile changing. Seems to me that 97% recognition would have to be the minimum.

Or could it be that they want to gradually get rid of all the staff duplication in Norwich and can't really do it whilst the name is retained?

£15 billion of cuts forecast

2009-04-20T09:50:00.004+01:00

Chancellor Alistair Darling is forecast to announce £15 billion worth of cuts in his forthcoming budget which he says can be found from efficiency savings in Whitehall. Allowing them to overrun by this much in the first place is criminal incompetence, surely, and shows a flagrant disregard for the public's tax money.

We ought to immediately sack anybody connected with permitting this to happen.

Foreign vehicles on UK roads

2009-04-19T11:59:00.004+01:00

A terrible crash on the M1 in the news today where a Polish VW Passat was apparently travelling the wrong way. At face value it doesn't sound too surprising, does it?

Whatever the details and outcome of the inquiry, it concerns me that many of the Polish, Latvian, Lithuanian and other european cars now showing on our roads are being used without insurance, road fund licence, import duty being paid and, perhaps, driving licences.

Many of the cars we see belong to people now living in the UK on a semi-permanent basis. There is almost certainly no provision in Polish car insurance for this eventuality and no UK insurance would be available for the vast majority. In fact, even if the drivers carry a legitimate certificate of insurance in Polish, how would our Police know?

I strongly suspect that the police, with tacit acceptance from their superiors, turn a blind eye to them knowing that they can take almost no action under the present stupid laws.

Urgent legislation is needed to require all foreign drivers to carry an authorised english translation of their vehicle insurance (issued like the old green card by their insurers) and driving licence. Failure to produce these on demand could then mean that the vehicle could be impounded. Indeed, these could be demanded at border entry before admittance. Europeans have a right to come in - their cars do not.

Time to stop dithering before more people get killed.

Police in the frame

2009-04-18T19:33:00.006+01:00

For some time now the police having been watching the public closely through CCTV cameras which seem to be on every street. Now, with the advent of easily shot movie footage on mobile telephones, they are coming under the cosh themselves.

The G20 demonstrations have given rise to three incidents now where complaints against the police have been supported by movies shot by the public. Each of these shows what appears to be a dreadful complacency on the part of individual officers who, in dealing with demonstrators under pressure, have seemingly forgotten their training and their roles. This has resulted in assaults that are quite clearly unlawful at worst and unwise at best.

They may plead all kinds of mitigation about matters on the day but the police have now started to lose the public's respect in a very serious way and this will make policing of future events of any kind more difficult.

The fact is that there are no excuses for brutal behaviour, whether at the command of seniors or not, and the police have committed the ultimate sin of being caught.

The Twitter Bug

2009-04-18T16:06:00.000+01:00

Having recently discovered Twitter, I now find it really addictive.

Part of its appeal has to lie in the fact that your thoughts on pretty well anything can be put in front of millions of people in real time and elicit a response. Of course this depends on those people watching all the Tweets rather than just following their favourites. But it really works.

The other attraction is undoubtedly that Joe Soap can feel that he is a little closer to the lives of the celebs that have grasped this medium, even making public contact and receiving replies. From the celebs viewpoint this has to be a great new way of staying in touch with fans and keeping the 'brand' alive. I recently started following Paul Daniels (@ThePaulDaniels) when he had some 2,000+ followers; growth of these has been exponential and in just 1 month they have reached nearly 15,000. The big cheeses of Twitter like Phillip Schofield and Stephen Fry attract well over 100,000 and their numbers are growing all the time.

For families and friends spread about over the world it's a great way to keep in touch - all in 140 characters!

Taxing the Sick - another NHS rip-off

2007-07-06T18:01:00.000+01:00

Actually, that intro brings me to my first beef. I have just returned from Mallorca where I had a need to see the doctor. I guess I could have done this with my shiny EC Health card but I chose to visit a british doctor who caters mostly for tourists (we were living there on and off) and to pay for his services. No complaints with that at all, excellent attention, considered and relaxed attention - no rush. It would probably be exactly the same in Blighty if you were paying.

He recommended a cardiac investigation and an endoscopy to be on the safe side at my age (!) and these could easily be arranged for 2 days time at a german clinic. I had them, the facilities and service were first class, the treatment 100% and the diagnosis comfortably reassuring. Not only that but I walked out of the clinic just 2 hours later with 2 copies of my full report and x-rays. Only requirement, a slight change to my blood-pressure medication.

And that brings me to taxing the sick.

My elevated blood-pressure (are you really surprised) requires treatment with two drugs, both of which are on prescription in the UK - Lisinopril 2.5mg and Atenolol 2 x 25mg daily. This is a total of 3 prescriptions per month - actually no, I lie, 3 per 28 days. Goverment months are shorter than ours. Short enough to get 13 in the year!

3 prescriptions at £6.85 is £20.55 or £267.15 per annum. Of course, you don't have to pay this much if you purchase an NHS pre-payment certificate for £98.70. That's a PRE-payment certificate, mind you; all your money first and who knows if you'll actually need the drugs all year. You are effectively lending the NHS your money at 0% interest. I am convinced that when I was a youngster the modest prescription charge (the equivalent of pence now) was just for preparing the prescription, the drugs were free. This was particularly the case if you were taking them long-term for which no further charges were required. I might be wrong but somehow I doubt that I am. Now it is one charge for each 28 day's worth of any drug.

So you might be interested to know what the scenario is when I am in Mallorca as it shows just what is going on in the UK. Both Lisinopril and Atenolol are available over-the-counter at pharmacies throughout Spain. I guess the decision was that it wasn't necessary to limit their availability as there were much more efficient ways to 'top' yourself if you wanted to and only people who really needed the drugs would be asking for them. Seems reasonable to me. The cost for 60 x 5mg Lisinopril was approx. £4.40, the cost for 60 x Atenolol 50mg was approx. £2.30. Both these are in tablet form that can be halved to give the correct dosage. This equates to 120 days Lisinopril for £4.40 and 120 days Atenolol 2 x 25 for £4.60.

That is just £9.00 for virtually 4 month's medication at RETAIL prices compared with £26.85 for a 3 month pre-payment certificate. Put another way - A WHOLE YEAR'S MEDS FOR THE PRICE OF 3 MONTHS and pay as you go. Remember, you can't vote with your wallet in the UK, there are no alternatives, you have to have a prescription and the government gets to pocket your hard-earned money.

OK I hear you say. You're a good citizen, you want the NHS to help the worse-off and these things all have to paid for. But taxing the sick is not the way to do it, because that is what it is and it is neither right nor moral. If the government wants to screw us all (and we know they do) then be honest enough to be up-front about it and we can vote accordingly. Screwing the already weak is a lousy thing to do.

So, I can't suggest to you that you check out your medication prices when you go on holiday as there are potentially problems from people who might end up getting the wrong drugs (doh!) but you might feel that you are astute enough to check it out with the pharmacist abroad (these are all qualified people and most speak english - if not, find one).

A full year's meds are costing me just over a quarter of a year's UK pre-payment.

A bloody scandal if you ask me.

Introduction

2007-07-06T17:29:00.000+01:00

A big hello - this is my first attempt at a blog so please excuse any ramblings. Also, I should say sorry to any latin scholars if my sub-title is not quite accurate; the sentiment is one that we can all relate to!

As an ageing child of the 60s, now hurtling towards a bus pass, there is plenty to vent my spleen about whether it is lousy spelling, bad manners, incompetent government wasting our money or any one of a long list of present-day examples of nutty thinking. Of course, it is just possible that I'm the nutty one and completely out of step. That's the main reason that I'm doing this; if you find yourself sympathising with me, please say so - I need to convince myself that things weren't always this bad.

Of course there are some good things about the times we live in, it's just that I can't think of any at the time of writing this!

You might notice the 'mallorcablog' prefix in my blog URL - that's because I spend a lot of my time there, as I have for around 40 years, and it was where I was when I started to create the blog. There is nothing like living outside the country to broaden your thinking about your homeland and to help you try to be objective - not always successfully. My views are my own, I wonder if they are yours too?